「やめて」・にげて・はなして。身内から子どもへの性犯罪:被害者から加害者になった私・犯免狂子が精神治療から学んだこと

4歳から父の猥褻・母の体罰が「愛情表現」と教わり、混乱の吐口としてきょうだいに性的・精神的な加害をしていことを治療中に自覚。3つの気づき:①家庭内で子どもへの性犯罪が、加害者の「無自覚」のうちに起きている。②性被害を否定することは、自己防衛本能が正常に作用しているからだが、否定し続けても苦しみは増す一方である。③被害を認めて精神治療を初めないと、被害者も「無自覚」のうちに自他を傷つけ加害者になってしまう可能性が高い。精神疾患「複雑性心的外傷後ストレス障害(C-PTSD)」歴35年以上。

【22】 Dear Mark Laita,

Hi Mark, 

 

My name is Cocoro, a 39-year-old Japanese American childhood incest survivor from Long Island, NY, currently based in Tokyo. I am contacting you because I'd like your permission to translate some of your interviews on Soft White Underbelly into Japanese. My objective is to spread the awareness of incest and its consequences in hopes to save the children from becoming a victim and a perpetrator, like myself. I've sexually harassed my younger siblings since I was about four years old after I got molested by my father. 

 

Incest is legal in Japan and information that's not porn but real in Japanese is extremely limited. Filling the gap in information is where I could actually make a contribution as I've been a translator for more than 15 years. 

 

The idea of translating documentaries on incest has been in the back of my mind for several years. Dealing with my symptoms of C-PTSD and PME often gets the better of me, but on a positive note, I was inspired to receive euthanasia while empathizing with a sex offender in one of your videos. Now, I've gotten past the idea of ending my life but it forced me to decide what I needed to do in this life. I need to do whatever I can to spread awareness about incest. That is the only way I could make my tainted life useful and have peace of mind to know that I've done something worthwhile with the intention to save the children, who are the future. 

 

I've started a blog in Japanese as a form of self-therapy and I often write about incest that has occurred around the globe. Recently, I've been writing in English to show how incest is a devastating issue in Japan. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this email. 

 

Sincerely,

Cocoro Psyché