「やめて」・にげて・はなして。身内から子どもへの性犯罪:被害者から加害者になった私・犯免狂子が精神治療から学んだこと

4歳から父の猥褻・母の体罰が「愛情表現」と教わり、混乱の吐口としてきょうだいに性的・精神的な加害をしていことを治療中に自覚。3つの気づき:①家庭内で子どもへの性犯罪が、加害者の「無自覚」のうちに起きている。②性被害を否定することは、自己防衛本能が正常に作用しているからだが、否定し続けても苦しみは増す一方である。③被害を認めて精神治療を初めないと、被害者も「無自覚」のうちに自他を傷つけ加害者になってしまう可能性が高い。精神疾患「複雑性心的外傷後ストレス障害(C-PTSD)」歴35年以上。

【23】Incest in Japan: The Age of Consent is 13

Japan's sex crime law was revised in 2017 for the first time in 110 years. And yet it is still full of loopholes for the perpetrators and is continuing to torment victims. 

 

 

On May 2, 2018, a 13-year-old daughter text messaged her mother: "Mom, dad apparently sees me as a woman." Her mother immediately asked, "What do you mean?" to which she replied, "He doesn't see me as a daughter but as a woman." The mother didn't respond. She commented later that she couldn't imagine that her ex-husband would lay his hands on their daughter*1

 

This is what was actually happening. The daughter was meeting up with her father for the first time in seven years after her parents divorced. The father had invited her to an event and in his car, he licked her daughter's breasts and put his hands inside her panties. A few months later, the daughter told her school counselor, who contacted the mother*2

 

Relatives suggested the mother report to the authorities, pointing out that the law has been changed. The penal code, which was revised for the first time in 110 years established a new crime involving intercourse and indecency by a guardian. Cases, where a guardian who has custody of a child takes advantage of his/her position and has intercourse or acts indecently with a child under the age of 18, are treated similarly to forced sexual intercourse and forcible indecency *3. The father admitted to police interrogation.

 

However during this time, in March 2019, there was a notorious case where a father who had raped his 19-year-old daughter was not found guilty. It was followed by several acquittals of men in sex crime cases

*4. The mother felt the prosecutors' once constructive attitude toned down thereafter. 

 

The police explained that because the ex-husband was not paying child-rearing expenses and therefore not carrying out the role of a father, he can not be considered a guardian. Even after the criminal law revision, if the perpetrator is not a guardian, the victim is over 13 years old, and if there is no proof of "violence or threat," then the victim is automatically considered to have given consent and can't charge the perpetrator. 

 

The ex-husband was sentenced to house arrest but they had to make a settlement out of court to make him promise never to see their daughter again. 

 

When the father made the advances, the daughter resisted by saying "Dad, let's talk" but the father explained to the police that he "took it as words of consent." The mother expressed her anger, "How could 13 years old be the age of consent when she is still receiving compulsory education? It doesn't make sense that there needs to be violence and threat for sexual abuse to be considered a crime." 

 

The daughter is receiving counseling. Sometimes, she suddenly cries and acts in rage at home. "My daughter has to live the rest of her life with a deep scar and yet my ex-husband isn't aware that he did anything wrong because he didn't receive any punishment." 

 

My Opinion

Ironically, criminal laws don't protect children from sexual abuse; they protect the perpetrators. What is disturbing is that the laws assume that victims consent to being exploited as sexual objects if there is no violence and threat. This sick assumption is oblivious to the fact that any kind of sexual advancement by a family member is an act of abuse even if there is no coercion.

 

What is troubling is that children are not taught about private parts or what healthy boundaries are. They are not taught to say "No!" or to escape or to tell someone when they are sexually violated. They are not taught that most of the perpetrators are someone they feel close with. They are not taught about the risks and consequences involved in sexual activities and how to avoid them. 

 

What fills the gap in information is the overflowing images of pornography, which is in sight everywhere. Coupled with no real sex education, no wonder these men believe that the victims wanted to be exploited. That's what is often portrayed in pornography and they are brainwashed since childhood. 

 

I understand that there are female perpetrators and male victims. Perpetrator abuse victims and victims often become perpetrators, and there is no gender or race that is free from it. It seems like a neverending vicious cycle that just spreads without people knowing that it is actually happening to themselves or their loved ones because it is too painful to admit. It's actually much worse than the covid pandemic because people aren't aware of it and it affects children for life. Despite the fact that it is the oldest pandemic in human history, there isn't even a so-called "vaccination" for the incestuous zombies. 

 

 

 

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