『きんしんかん:性加害のニワトリとたまご』

ある本がきっかけで、逃げるように東京に移住した日系アメリカ人の斎氣心。初めて心を開ける人に出逢うも、彼にDVをしてしまう。確執が長年ある母親のような自分に絶望した。原因は、母の「躾(暴力)」と女性ホルモンだと考え、低容量ピルYAZを服用したが、副作用で臨死した。古今東西の代替医療による精神治療を試行錯誤する中、幼児期に父親から受け始めた猥褻を自覚する。それでも問題が雪だるま化するため、両親に虐待の事実を問いただした。しかし己の被害を自他に明示できた瞬間、自分もきょうだいに性的加害をしていた記憶が蘇り...

Telling My Life as a Comedian

I laughed out loud for the first time in a while watching a youtube video of an Asian comedian.

 

And, it inspired me to think about how I would tell my story if I ever became a comedian. How can I make my story funny? Would it even be possible?

 

I mean, I am a Japanese American born and raised in New York...

 

By the way, when I disclose this to most Japanese people, their immediate reaction is "kakkoi!", which means "that's sooo cool!" and my reaction is "wow, you are so lame, so brainwashed, just like most of the Japanese after WW2, how original is that." 

 

Of course, I don't tell them straight to their face, because it's not very "Japanese." To be up-front is almost a crime. 

 

I struggled with this concept of "being Japanese" and tried hard to meet the criteria. 

 

Whenever I spoke out my views, both my mother and my Japanese best friend criticized me for being "too American." I was dumbfounded. Well, what do you expect? But I read between the lines and learned to stop expressing my views and just went along with others.

 

It seemed to work out within the Japanese community but I became practically invisible in American society. 

 

Instead, the Japanese way is to talk behind each other's backs. That's why we look polite, but there is an apparent fakeness to it.