「やめて」・にげて・はなして。身内から子どもへの性犯罪:被害者から加害者になった私・犯免狂子が精神治療から学んだこと

4歳から父の猥褻・母の体罰が「愛情表現」と教わり、混乱の吐口としてきょうだいに性的・精神的な加害をしていことを治療中に自覚。3つの気づき:①家庭内で子どもへの性犯罪が、加害者の「無自覚」のうちに起きている。②性被害を否定することは、自己防衛本能が正常に作用しているからだが、否定し続けても苦しみは増す一方である。③被害を認めて精神治療を初めないと、被害者も「無自覚」のうちに自他を傷つけ加害者になってしまう可能性が高い。精神疾患「複雑性心的外傷後ストレス障害(C-PTSD)」歴35年以上。

【7】Incest in Japan: How I Became a Perpetrator

The who, what, where, when, how, and why I became an incest perpetrator. 

 

1. The First Offense

The first offense was when I was about four years old and my younger sibling was about two years old. He was sitting on our parent's bed without his underwear or pants on and I poked his genitals with my index finger. 

 

He giggled and I was surprised by his reaction. I repeated and he giggled again.

 

I was surprised by his reaction because it was completely different from mine when I was about four years old and my father molested me.*1

 

2. Vandalized His Genitals

I drew on my younger sibling's genitals with an oil-based marker.

 

I got the idea from a Japanese children's animation called Crayon Shin-chan*2. He let me do it freely the first time and I thought it was funny.

 

But when he ran away from me the second time I tried to do it, I thought he was a bad sport.

 

When the animation made its first appearance in 1990, I was seven and my sibling was five.

 

3. Trampled His Genitals

I grabbed my sibling's legs and trampled his genitals with my feet. This is called denki-anma and I learned about is from a Japanese comic book for kids. Unfortunately, it is a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

4. Poked Fingers into Anus

I poked both of my fingers at the same time into my sibling's anus while he had his pants on. This is called kancho, meaning enema, and I learned about it from a Japanese comic book for kids. This is also a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

5. Calling Him "Gay"

I called my sibling "gay" and said that he will become gay