『きんしんかん:性加害のニワトリとたまご』

ある本がきっかけで、逃げるように東京に移住した日系アメリカ人の斎氣心。初めて心を開ける人に出逢うも、彼にDVをしてしまう。確執が長年ある母親のような自分に絶望した。原因は、母の「躾(暴力)」と女性ホルモンだと考え、低容量ピルYAZを服用したが、副作用で臨死した。古今東西の代替医療による精神治療を試行錯誤する中、幼児期に父親から受け始めた猥褻を自覚する。それでも問題が雪だるま化するため、両親に虐待の事実を問いただした。しかし己の被害を自他に明示できた瞬間、自分もきょうだいに性的加害をしていた記憶が蘇り...

【7】Incest in Japan: How I Became a Perpetrator

The who, what, where, when, how, and why I became an incest perpetrator. 

 

1. The First Offense

The first offense was when I was about four years old and my younger sibling was about two years old. He was sitting on our parent's bed without his underwear or pants on and I poked his genitals with my index finger. 

 

He giggled and I was surprised by his reaction. I repeated and he giggled again.

 

I was surprised by his reaction because it was completely different from mine when I was about four years old and my father molested me.*1

 

2. Vandalized His Genitals

I drew on my younger sibling's genitals with an oil-based marker.

 

I got the idea from a Japanese children's animation called Crayon Shin-chan*2. He let me do it freely the first time and I thought it was funny.

 

But when he ran away from me the second time I tried to do it, I thought he was a bad sport.

 

When the animation made its first appearance in 1990, I was seven and my sibling was five.

 

3. Trampled His Genitals

I grabbed my sibling's legs and trampled his genitals with my feet. This is called denki-anma and I learned about is from a Japanese comic book for kids. Unfortunately, it is a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

4. Poked Fingers into Anus

I poked both of my fingers at the same time into my sibling's anus while he had his pants on. This is called kancho, meaning enema, and I learned about it from a Japanese comic book for kids. This is also a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

5. Calling Him "Gay"

I called my sibling "gay" and said that he will become gay