「やめて」・逃げて・話して。

料理上手だけど罵倒や体罰もしてきた母の如く、恋人を精神的に追い詰めてしまう度、根深い憎悪、自己嫌悪、人間不信を自覚。古今東西の精神治療を試す中、4歳以前から始まった父の性加害とそれらによる解離症などCPTSDの無数のトラウマ症状が発覚。自らのトラウマ治療の一環と、児童性虐待予防・啓発のために、両親と対峙・起訴への経緯を自伝『犯免狂子』で更新中✒︎私みたいに人生が狂いませんよう🧠⚡️❤️‍🩹⚖️

【7】Incest in Japan: How I Became a Perpetrator

The who, what, where, when, how, and why I became an incest perpetrator. 

 

1. The First Offense

The first offense was when I was about four years old and my younger sibling was about two years old. He was sitting on our parent's bed without his underwear or pants on and I poked his genitals with my index finger. 

 

He giggled and I was surprised by his reaction. I repeated and he giggled again.

 

I was surprised by his reaction because it was completely different from mine when I was about four years old and my father molested me.*1

 

2. Vandalized His Genitals

I drew on my younger sibling's genitals with an oil-based marker.

 

I got the idea from a Japanese children's animation called Crayon Shin-chan*2. He let me do it freely the first time and I thought it was funny.

 

But when he ran away from me the second time I tried to do it, I thought he was a bad sport.

 

When the animation made its first appearance in 1990, I was seven and my sibling was five.

 

3. Trampled His Genitals

I grabbed my sibling's legs and trampled his genitals with my feet. This is called denki-anma and I learned about is from a Japanese comic book for kids. Unfortunately, it is a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

4. Poked Fingers into Anus

I poked both of my fingers at the same time into my sibling's anus while he had his pants on. This is called kancho, meaning enema, and I learned about it from a Japanese comic book for kids. This is also a common form of roughhousing in Japan. 

 

5. Calling Him "Gay"

I called my sibling "gay" and said that he will become gay