「やめて」・逃げて・話して。

料理上手だけど罵倒や体罰もしてきた母の如く、恋人を精神的に追い詰めてしまう度、根深い憎悪、自己嫌悪、人間不信を自覚。古今東西の精神治療を試す中、4歳以前から始まった父の性加害とそれらによる解離症などCPTSDの無数のトラウマ症状が発覚。自らのトラウマ治療の一環と、児童性虐待予防・啓発のために、両親と対峙・起訴への経緯を自伝『犯免狂子』で更新中✒︎私みたいに人生が狂いませんよう🧠⚡️❤️‍🩹⚖️

【21】Japanese Cops Bullying a Disabled Man and What that Means to Me

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Yesterday, I couldn't help but notice four Japanese policemen standing around a young man at a busy intersection in Kichijoji, Tokyo.

 

The man was barefooted, had long hair that was covering most of his face, and looked like a homeless. What also stood out was his red Disability Identification Card, which indicates that he is either physically, mentally disabled, or both.


From afar the cops didn't seem like they were doing much. The man wasn't doing much other than sometimes yelling "Stop touching me! Go away!" to one of the cops. It looked like school bullying, which is quite rampant throughout the country. The man didn't seem dangerous at all. He is a disabled man for goodness sake! 

 

But these cops were merciless. It looked to me like they had too much time on their hands and wanted to earn easy points by interrogating a person who looked like a homeless because it is technically a minor crime for homeless people to be roaming the streets in Japan.

 

I wanted to help the man or at least walk over to him and say something comforting but I didn't have the guts. I didn't want to get involved with those cops. 

 

I walked away feeling devastated because I could have been that man. I have been writing in Japanese about my complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and premenstrual exacerbation (PME), which are caused by my childhood incest abuse trauma, and how "illicit" drugs have been helping me heal from my wounds. Every time I publish a blog entry, I would then unpublish it after a second thought. I worry about the cyber police coming to arrest me for "encouraging illicit conducts" and then finding my stash. 

 

I went home and unpublished all of my entries that mentioned cannabis or psychedelics even though they were meant for harm reduction purposes only and not meant to encourage illicit conduct at all.

 

The police were hungry to arrest people and I was certain that they would interpret my writing however they liked to meet their goals.