【20】Incest+Psychedelics<Sex Education

by Cocoloz Psyche

This is a story of my life as a childhood incest survivor with a Japanese American background. My life-long healing journey, which naturally includes the help of psychedelics among other things, can be summarized as a process of realizing basic human needs: self-acceptance and healthy social boundaries.

I believe that sharing my experiences will portray real issues that are often ignored by society in general. The dire necessity for sex education from early childhood to respect people's boundaries is a huge one.  

I have used various kinds of substances to self-treat my complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and premenstrual exacerbation (PME). This is a dilemma I'm facing for a long time because I am currently based in Japan, where drug laws are becoming stricter than ever.

I originally started writing in Japanese to fill in the gap of information in this country on such taboo subjects as child sexual abuse and psychoactive drugs. But I couldn't dare to publish anything substantial for fear that the cyber police are going to arrest me for the latter. Thus I started writing in English in hopes that I will at least be off their radar while getting across my universal message. 

Japan is a so-called "democratic" country with a Constitution and all, but the cops here arrest people for not only possession but also "talking positively about drugs."  

A Japanese man who lives in Mexico and talks about weed to Japanese viewers on his YouTube Channel got arrested for "encouraging illegal conduct" when he was visiting his native country in 2019.

These kinds of cases, which practically deny the Freedom of Speech, are increasing and are backed by a relatively new law that was established in 1991 called "the Act Concerning Special Provisions for the Narcotics and Psychotropics Control Act and Other Matters for the Prevention of Activities Encouraging Illicit Conducts and Other Activities Involving Controlled Substances through International Cooperation."

Mind you, this backward trend was originally sparked during the period of U.S. occupation of Japan after World War II. The general headquarters (GHQ)/Supreme Commander for the Allied Powers (SCAP) instructed Japan to establish the Cannabis Control Act, which was enacted in 1948. The law banned the medical use of cannabis, and hemp cultivation became limited under a prefectural licensing system. 

It's astounding when some Americans condescendingly say "Well, Japan's got crazy laws on marijuana..." It only highlights their own ignorance about how cannabis has been an important part of Japanese life since ancient times. Not to mention their complete obliviousness to the fact that such "crazy laws" had been instigated by campaigns of their own historical politicians. Does the name Harry J. Aslinger ring a bell?

I have sentiments toward both countries as a second-generation Japanese American, who was born and raised in New York. Based in Tokyo since my early twenties, I have been working on West Coast cannabis farms every harvest season since 2017. I've been witnessing the thriving cannabis industry but am also keenly aware that tens of thousands of Americans, who are mostly people of color, are still incarcerated for marijuana offenses as of 2022. This deeply rooted systematic discrimination and inequality, which has been at the core of drug prohibition in the States, is creating ripple effects in Japan as well, to this day. So much for setting an example to the world. The least Americans can do is to be mindful of their ignorance because otherwise, they're bound to commit second rape. 

That said, the Japanese too need to be mindful of their own ignorance when it comes to facing past mistakes. I feel ever so ashamed every time Japanese politicians or whoever tries to painfully deny the Nanking Massacre, so-called "comfort women" sex slaves, Unit 731's biological warfare and live human experiments; not to mention many other inhumane crimes against people of fellow Asian and non-Asian countries during World War II.

As long as we deny our past wrongdoings, we will continue to pay for them in the times to come. Oftentimes, I cannot help but feel that the reason why I became an incest victim at the innocent age of four is that, my ancestors and parents didn't learn properly how to respect children, women, men, and people of other genders, or themselves. 

My Father the Molester

One of the few and earliest memories I have of my childhood is when my own father molested me while I was asleep. 

Grounded in a Closet Full of  Porn Magazine

My Mother's Corporal Punishment

My First Experience with Marijuana and other Drugs

Suffocating in My Dysfunctional Family

”The Rape of Nanking” Deflated My Japanese Identity

Escaping Home, Finally

 

Living with My Misogynistic Grandmother

Coming Out of the Closet to a Male Sexual Victim

How I Started to Mentally Abuse My Beloved Boyfriend

 

How Oral Contraceptives Almost Killed Me

Embarking on a Psychedelic Journey 

 

Sexually Violated during Iboga Therapy

Not Able to Say "NO"

Realizing My Father as the Abuser through Gestalt Therapy

My Low Self Esteem Manifested at a Cannabis Farm

Confronting My Parents about Abuse

Apologizing to Younger Siblings for My Sexual Aggression

Flashbacks

Hurting My Boyfriend and Myself through an Abusive Love Affair

Realizing how the Incest Abuse has Affected My Life to this Day

Learning to Treat Myself Better

For a long time, I thought that I was a member of a happy family and I couldn't point out why I felt like a fake. So I compared myself to others who seemed to be less well-off and convinced myself that I was fortunate. But even when I was supposed to feel happy, I couldn't deny the underlying feeling of devastation. 

Speaking positively about marijuana online leads to arrest of Japanese man and woman - Japan Today

The Secret History Behind Japan’s Cannabis Control Act | Tokyo Weekender