「やめて」・にげて・はなして。身内から子どもへの性犯罪:被害者から加害者になった私・犯免狂子が精神治療から学んだこと

4歳から父の猥褻・母の体罰が「愛情表現」と教わり、混乱の吐口としてきょうだいに性的・精神的な加害をしていことを治療中に自覚。3つの気づき:①家庭内で子どもへの性犯罪が、加害者の「無自覚」のうちに起きている。②性被害を否定することは、自己防衛本能が正常に作用しているからだが、否定し続けても苦しみは増す一方である。③被害を認めて精神治療を初めないと、被害者も「無自覚」のうちに自他を傷つけ加害者になってしまう可能性が高い。精神疾患「複雑性心的外傷後ストレス障害(C-PTSD)」歴35年以上。

【24】Dear Edward Blackoff,

Dear Edward Blackoff,

 
My name is Cocoro, a 39-year-old Japanese American childhood incest survivor from Long Island, NY, currently based in Tokyo.
 
I am contacting you because I'd like to translate your documentary Incest: Family Tragedy into Japanese.
 
My objective is to spread the awareness of incest and its consequences in hopes to save the children from becoming a victim and a perpetrator, like myself. 
 
As you may know, incest is actually legal in Japan, and information that's not pornography-related but real is extremely limited here. Thus, I've been wanting to translate your documentary for several years.
 
My symptoms of C-PTSD and PME often get the better of me but when I was recently inspired to end my life with euthanasia, it forced me to think about what I needed to do in this life. I've gotten past the idea to end my life for now but it did allow me to muster the courage to contact you.
 
I may not be able to disclose my real name for fear that I will be a disgrace to my younger siblings, who I've sexually harassed since I was about four years old after my father molested me. However, I could make a contribution as a translator because I have had a professional background in the field for more than 15 years.

 

I've started a blog in Japanese as a form of self-therapy and I often write about my experience with incest. Recently, I've started to write entries in English to show how incest is a devastating issue in Japan as well. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this email. 

 

Sincerely,

Cocoro Psyché

 

I have attached a C.V. for your review.